doppleganger is a fun word

usually when i rave about Simone de Beauvoir, it's regarding all men are mortal, one of my favoritest books of all time. sometimes it's after pedantically quoting the second sex. but this time 'round, it's about she came to stay. i had no clue what i was getting myself into with this book - i had only read the previously mentioned works by this crazy awesome lady (pictured left) and just wanted MORE. suffice to say this was just over a year ago, and i bought the mandarins at the same time, and was so devastated by she came to stay that i this is how far i got before needing something lighter.


this book is nothing like all men are mortal, style-wise. it is, however, about existential crises (oh how i love those). you know that the time. what you don't know is where the hell it's going. i must say, beautifully written, entertaining, but for piles of pages you just plain can't figure out what the overarching plot is. that's ok though. upon completion, all is revealed. our main character, francoise, is a rather narcissistic, artsy, intellectual snob. i absolutely loved her.


the story takes place in paris, right at the beginning of WWII - but that's all in the background. it's really about figuring out who you are, what you like, what you want, and just plain old what it all means and who &#*@ing cares. our main character finds herself a project in a young friend (xaviere) who's rather mopey and apathetic about everything. in every way, she is the opposite of francoise, who often butts heads to get xaviere to do something francoise thinks would be good for her - like leave her room, see a play, or have a conversation. starting to sound a little like bartleby? she's not so much an 'i'd prefer not to'-type as an petulant child. she feels greatly entitled to any and every concession, but hasnt the slightest idea what she actually wants.

No one could care less about her future than Xaviere.

now you know that francoise implored xaviere to come to paris and partake of life as francoise lives it (shamelessly, full force, giving and taking everything). but it doesnt take long for francoise to feel more than a little uncomfortable with this new creature in her life:

Francoise tried with all her strength to thrust into the background this precious and encumbering Xaviere who was gradually taking shape; she felt something close to hostility. But there was nothing to be done, no way of going back. Xaviere was a reality.

up until this admission, xaviere had been francoise's toy, a project - not a real person. now she becomes a threat. as the novel progresses, all the characters (this tight-knit quirky group of artsy smartsy friends) have character- (but not plot) building moments. but what creeps out, ooooozing it's way through the quotidian features of day after day in paris, is that xaviere's existence threatens francoise's existence. francoise is altered by xaviere's existence. she constantly questions everything, has internal struggles over everything because of this fluffity, needy, child. here's some more francoise-thoughts:

If only it were possible to prefer oneself to all others.

She did know with reasonable certainty what she was not; it was agonizing to know herself only in a series of negatives.

constant comparison to others is how francoise defined herself. and now she can't figure someone out. she has to examine herself and determine who she is first in order to understand this other. i don't want to give anything (further) away about the book, but the ending will make you sit still and stare for about an hour while your brain and soul go "       ."